Love(ing)

Agape love - "Agape has to do with the mind: it is not simply an emotion which rises unbidden in our hearts; it is a principle by which we deliberately live." - William Barclay

It is the kind of love that we must have for all men — even our enemies (Matthew 5:44). The Christian must always act out of love, i.e., in the best interest of his fellow human beings.

     I couldn't attend service yesterday because of work. Matt sent me the notes he took on the sermon yesterday on love and love(ing). I have yet to listen to the sermon, but immediately feel guilt as I read his notes. And have been doing a lot of reflecting...

Agape, is a perfect love. The kind of love we all want but have such a difficult time giving to others, especially to those who have crossed us. I did not know how to truly love others until I really understood and received God's love. 

     To veer off topic a little, growing up, I was told of God's love, but at a young age my confidence was ripped apart by disappointment from my parents for not being the daughter they wished for me to be. Though as a mother myself now, I completely understand their intentions for me were always the best despite the nuisance of a child I was. The amount of bullying from my peers throughout middle school & high school only amplified my lack of confidence & I allowed myself to be in a very dark place, emotionally. A lot of the internal damage, I took upon myself to cope with on my own because deep down I didn't feel like I could go to anyone who would understand or care to understand (which I realize now wasn't true). 

My identity was based on the acceptance and love of others - and doing whatever it took to achieve that. It's crazy what boundaries a person will cross just to get what they think they need to be happy. How could God possibly want to continue loving me when I had lost everyone close to me because of my mistakes? Maybe I hadn't done anything near evil but I did enough detestable things. God only loves those who are good. Or at least that is the lie the enemy continued to feed me all those years and even onto my twenties. 

2011, was a year of many changes for me. I was going through a divorce at the time, with a lot of uncertainty of what was to come. I didn't realize it at the time but God was waiting for this moment and used my best friend as a way to help me see what God's love really was and how much He desired for me just as much as I hoped for Him to love and accept me. He does not need our love but He yearns for it. He does not need our companionship but He yearns for it more than we do. We turn our backs on Him whenever we feel ashamed of our failures or feel betrayed by Him - yet those are the times where He yearns for us the most. In our brokenness (because we are all broken), He provides for us the kind of love, grace and hope that'll help us persevere beyond this world. His love is the one love we all need to crave for, because His love is truly perfect. His love sacrificed His only son for our sins, even though we were undeserving and continues to be our number one advocate. His love has no conditions to fill, nothing to earn, nothing to do and nothing to be. Agape-God Love just loves unconditionally, spontaneously and continually. 

It is the kind of love we as Christians are called to have for God & others (enemies & all). Our natural, human love will always be a conditional love that is dependent upon three things: how we feel; what our circumstances are; and how that other person responds to us. In other words, natural love will always seek the good of itself and not the other person and will always be based upon certain reciprocal expectations, "I'll love you, if you'll love me. But, if you stop loving me, I will stop loving you." 

Love is one of the most beautiful gifts God has given us to share with the world, yet we have a hard time giving. The desires of the flesh, cause us to look inward & think selfishly about what we feel we deserve from others. We were not created just to live a happy life and be content within ourselves, we were designed to be open and cleansed vessels, not only receiving God's love for ourselves, but also passing it on to others. 

I fail at this every single day. I get frustrated at my husband for not remembering to put his clothes in the laundry basket, or not helping with keeping our house clean when I've had a rough day at work. I get impatient by people at work who chose to consume their day by being negative. I become resentful towards friends who don't reach out and keep in touch or make the time/efforts to spend time with me/us. I get upset at family members when they set unreasonable expectations from me. I'll retaliate against strangers when they're being rude or inconsiderate towards me and the list can go on forever. These are all real emotions I go through almost every day. I may love my husband, family, friends, co-workers and even those strangers but I'm not being loving. I do not have the right nor authority to hold unrealistic expectations and be upset when they aren't met because I fail at them too. 

Our love is to be modeled after Jesus’ love. We are to love one another in the same way that he loved us. True love is an intentional decision to put the needs of others before your own, and it results in sacrificial action.

Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well.

You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had, who though he existed in the form of God did not regard equality with God as something to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking on the form of a slave, by looking like other men, and by sharing in human nature.

He humbled himself, by becoming obedient to the point of death—even death on a cross! (Philippians 2:3–8)

It is inconsistent and false to claim we love God while not be loving other believers. We cannot love God without loving brothers and sisters who also love Him. The second is that it is inconsistent and false to claim we love God if we don't obey Him. It is impossible to love God while ignoring what He says. The two are inextricably connected, as Galatians 5:14 says: "For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'"

It all comes down to this. For almost every action we take, we have a choice. We can walk by the flesh, or we can walk by the Spirit.

If we walk by the flesh, we will act selfishly—seeking our own good.

If we walk by the Spirit, we will act in love—seeking the good of others.