For the love of running.

Remember in elementary school when they would make you run a mile and see how fast you could run it? You know the kid that almost always finished last? Well, that kid was probably me. The chubby little Mae did not at all enjoy running, actually I hated it. 

I've been reflecting on the past year, and the journey I've been excitingly on with running, and it has been surreal. I would have never pictured myself to be that person who not only ran frequently, but to be someone who truly enjoys running. It has been an amazing outlet for me to spend some time with myself and with God. Working full time, being a full time mother to my amazing son, and preparing for my wedding in September has left me very little down time. 

When I started running back in August of 2014, my avg per mile was 14 minutes. Now? The fastest as been 9:56. Now, that is no where near as fast as some of the runners out there but it sure does feel good to see the improvement. Every run, no matter if it's a 5k or a half marathon has been such a great accomplishment. 

With that said, my motivation has been greatly influenced by my biggest fan and husband to be, Matt. He has been there at every run, pushing me and encouraging me through every process. In a world that loves to shine the light on the "stars" of the show, often leaving their supporters in the dark - Matt should be the one under that spot light. He has been my rock in all aspects of my life but most importantly in my faith. And it's because of my faith that I am able to make it through some of the harder runs I've done. 

"Keep running the race that is set before you with endurance." Hebrews 12:1

Extrovert turned Introvert.

As a little girl, I wanted to talk and interact with every person I came across. Perhaps a little too trustworthy of the world that surrounded me, but I was definitely full of high spirits. 

Unfortunately, the physical/emotional abuse I went through going into middle school and high school definitely took away my high spirited and fun loving personality. My last year of high school, being a part of my hip hop dance team sort of forced me to get out of my comfort zone & be a little bit more open again. 

Insecurities pushed me to make very poor & regretful decisions when it came to friendships and relationships - because I yearned to feel accepted, loved, cool, special etc. I allowed myself to be influenced by what was worldly acceptable just so I could feel pretty, fit in, feel included, feel love,  & accepted. Goodness, if I could only have traveled back into time and confronted myself even 5-6 years ago how wrong my way of thinking was. 

My point is - last night Matt & I went out to celebrate a friend of ours' birthday - and it made me realize how much more introverted I've become - at least in the night life aspect. The thrill of the that lifestyle has long passed me. The idea of sitting at home in front of a fire place, drinking a glass of wine or tea, reading a book just sounds so much appealing. Or even just being in community with friends and family. 

Moments like those, I feel so grateful that Jesus saved me when he did and yet also blessed for the lessons he taught through those years.

Romans 5:3-4 says "We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope." 

I know now that God's approval is the only one who we should yearn for, and the great news is that through the work of Jesus' ultimate sacrifice - He is able to shower those who believe with an abundance of love and goodness - that you or I haven't had to work to get nor will we ever have to.