Extrovert turned Introvert.

As a little girl, I wanted to talk and interact with every person I came across. Perhaps a little too trustworthy of the world that surrounded me, but I was definitely full of high spirits. 

Unfortunately, the physical/emotional abuse I went through going into middle school and high school definitely took away my high spirited and fun loving personality. My last year of high school, being a part of my hip hop dance team sort of forced me to get out of my comfort zone & be a little bit more open again. 

Insecurities pushed me to make very poor & regretful decisions when it came to friendships and relationships - because I yearned to feel accepted, loved, cool, special etc. I allowed myself to be influenced by what was worldly acceptable just so I could feel pretty, fit in, feel included, feel love,  & accepted. Goodness, if I could only have traveled back into time and confronted myself even 5-6 years ago how wrong my way of thinking was. 

My point is - last night Matt & I went out to celebrate a friend of ours' birthday - and it made me realize how much more introverted I've become - at least in the night life aspect. The thrill of the that lifestyle has long passed me. The idea of sitting at home in front of a fire place, drinking a glass of wine or tea, reading a book just sounds so much appealing. Or even just being in community with friends and family. 

Moments like those, I feel so grateful that Jesus saved me when he did and yet also blessed for the lessons he taught through those years.

Romans 5:3-4 says "We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope." 

I know now that God's approval is the only one who we should yearn for, and the great news is that through the work of Jesus' ultimate sacrifice - He is able to shower those who believe with an abundance of love and goodness - that you or I haven't had to work to get nor will we ever have to.