Here we are, the day that seemed was slowly approaching has finally arrived. It's surreal to think that just last night, I was getting ready to go to bed next to Matt, to now be sitting here in my new bed where I'll spend either alone or with Rylan. As I look at my new surroundings, I am left feeling confused about what I am feeling. My heart has changed to trust in Him and to make the changes that I know will glorify Him in my relationship with Matt, but then why does my heart sting with pain. I haven't even spent my first night here, and already I've had a small melt down. I guess, I shouldn't have expected this process to be completely joyful all the time. I knew these feelings were going to come, I just didn't expect it to happen so soon. I should spend a lot of time in prayer the next few days, weeks and months for God's strength, but I sure as heck can't do this on my own. God will supply Matt and I the strength we need to get through this. This is not permanent, but only temporary. I just have to keep reminding myself that.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
