Yesterday was great. Last night however was rough. It seems, it's always during the late hours of the night where the mind likes to lurke in dangerous territory. My heart stiffened towards Matt when he came home after having such a long day at work. I felt the enemy encouraging me to be cold and bitter towards him despite his attempt to be affectionate towards me. He did nothing yet I acted as though he had commited such a horrible sin against me. I ask for his sympathy during this difficult time in our relationship yet struggle to give him the same sympathy.
I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes. Was it the lack of concern and affection from my own parents growing up that causes me to be distant when someone I love needs me the most. Needless to say, last night was rough for us. Lots of tears were shed and hearts broke . As hopeful and confident as we have been about God's plan for the both of us, I think the reality of these circumstances took it's toll on us as it came around Christmas time.
It being Christmas Eve today, I want to push all of that aside for now and be filled with joy and the absorb all the love with everyone. Whatever needs to be dealt with and confronted can wait another day.
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