Expectations vs. Reality

I have reached my 24th week mark! Time has flown by quicker than I thought. It's really been crazy to think about how much Adela has grown looking at the pictures above. 

This is my second pregnancy, so I came into it knowing somewhat to expect - or so I thought. The basics about being pregnant seemed very similar to my experience with Rylan - however this pregnancy has also taken much more of a toll on me and my body than I imagined it would. 

I started off this pregnancy journey fairly active & motivated to stay that way - even set myself a goal to run a 5k in my second trimester. Well, baby girl definitely had her own plans separate from mine. Exhaustion, nausea and fatigue disabled me from working out during my first trimester and although I regained a lot of my energy back during my second trimester (& I have been lucky enough to work out here & there), the addition of lower back pain & pelvic pressure/pains put me at a disadvantage in "training" for the 5k. I was unfortunately not able to run as I was hoping I was going to be able to and to be honest, I was pretty disappointed and discouraged. 

Being so petite, every bit of weight I gain makes a bigger effect on my body than someone with a bigger frame. Eating meals has become difficult as baby girl is taking over the little space I already have and I struggle to breath at times, plus her kicks and punches are getting stronger and stronger every day. 

I feel guilty for complaining, for feeling insecure about my body, for being disappointed that I don't have half as much of energy to work out more effectively as other moms I see on social networking sites. I am happy about this pregnancy. I feel so blessed. No matter how I'm feeling about myself, I love every single cell of her being. I am beyond grateful for the miracle of life God is carefully piecing together inside me, but I also have my struggles. 

But I'm getting there, slowly. I'm almost at the point where I'm learning to accept that I can't always control what happens in the end much less the journey (no matter how much I wish I could). Yes, I had expectations & goals on how I thought this pregnancy would go, but the truth is, reality is almost always going to turn out differently. I really am thoroughly enjoying every minute of this journey despite the road bumps along the way. 

On a side note, we get to see baby girl in a week and a half for some more measurements to make sure she is growing big and strong. We can't wait! Prayer is much appreciated for baby girl.